Tuesday, March 8, 2011
This is something I need to work on. Being mindful.
I often think things like "Back when I was skinny, ______________." Or "When I'm skinny again, __________." It's always past or future. Never present. I never seem to think things like "Right now, I'm not where I want to be but I'm working on it and I'm strong." If I am thinking something about the present it is usually, "Ugh, I'm so fat" "I hate my body" "I wish I looked like her."
Sooooo not helpful or healthy. :(
Certainly this ties into food and weightloss/gain too. If I am not eating mindfully then I will most likely pick unwise foods and eat waaaay more than I should. This is definitely a problem I have.
I also think that way in other areas. For example "Someday when we're in the town we will stay in permanently, ________________." "Someday when we have a house of our own, ___________." Etc.
I also spend a lot of time not being fully engaged in what I am doing at that moment. By having the TV on while I am doing other things. Multitasking instead of fully engaging with Mostest. Even being on the computer while doing other things at the same time.
I need to spend more time in the moment. Truly being in that moment. I need to work on being happy with who I am right now, what I have right now and where I am right now. Having goals is a good thing, making plans for the future is a good thing... But it should not be at the expense of now.