Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Can I Fail Without Being a Failure?

Today was a big giant FAIL. :( I have 2 different jobs but they are both hard and basically "downer" fields. I rarely see any positive changes in the clients I work with and there is little-to-no positive return. Warm fuzzies, appreciation, you know those things that help a person keep trucking along in their job? Today was a particularly rough day at work and I clearly tried to fill that hole with food. Fast food to be precise. And, huge surprise, I felt physically awful afterwards. In addition (yeah I know, cue the violins right?) I am starting to get a brutal cold.

It got me to thinking... Am I a failure because I failed today?
  • I failed at both my jobs
  • I failed at being a calm, kind mother when I got home from work
  • I failed at eating vegan
  • I failed at eating healthy
  • I failed at getting the exercise in that I had planned
  • I failed at getting the housework done that I should have
  • I failed at meeting my needs properly and in a healthy way
That is a lot of failing.... However, I really don't think that makes me a failure. This one day doesn't make up the whole of who I am. I know this probably sounds like an obvious statement but putting this into practice with myself is HUGE! I am such a perfectionist... If I don't do it the best out of anyone I ever seen - I'm awful at it, I'm a failure, I suck. So now I am trying to be more gentle with myself and see past the failures of one day to the mass amounts of successes I have accrued over many, many days.

Tomorrow is a new day and I am committed to changing myself and my life. It's not going to be easy and it's not going to happen in one day. For once... I actually believe that and I don't feel so low at the end of a fail-tastic day!

1 comment:

  1. Ah this is just what I needed to read today. I'm in quite a rut right now and really feeling like a failure. You are so right about one day (or even one week) not determining who you are. Thanks!