Friday, February 4, 2011
I Need to Find My Power
Wait who has the power here?
Cause it sure feels like ^ those guys have the power right now.
I want to rewind back to several weeks ago when ^ those guys had nothin' on me! But I can't go back... I have to go forward. Forward.
I have lost some ground by being off track and having an awful flu. I have not been on track with my food for almost a week now. I have fallen back into rationalizing why "its OK to have it because ________ " The only person I'm cheating is myself. So why do I keep cheating myself? Who am I fooling? No one.
I am done making excuses. Done rationalizing. I want to be powerful and in control of my eating, then I need to just do it. Be powerful. I need to eat like I am already in control. I want to be badass in my fitness. I want to break my old times running, be able to run long distances, have defined muscles to show off. So I need to be badass. I need to train like I am bad already.
It's like that cliche... you have to love yourself before anyone else can. I think I need to see myself these ways before anyone else can. I need to see myself as powerful, in control and badass. And dare I say beautiful?
It's definitely going to take some work to think those thoughts about myself, see myself those ways... but I'm starting to realize that I have to... or I never will.