Binge Re-group

I have gone a little off track this weekend... I have gone almost a full month with no bingeing but this weekend I would say I either got close or did actually binge depending on one's definition of a binge.

I am admitting it.

Now I am stopping it.

I love the feeling of being in control of food vs it controlling me. I love seeing the scale go down. I love feeling in control and powerful period. So, let's get back to that shall we?

Tomorrow is the start of a new month and I have recently started a new running program on Nike+, I am starting my membership at the gym, and I am going to re-commit to my low carb eating and challenge myself to see how much weight loss damage I can do in the month of February!

I look forward to updating my running ticker and weight loss ticker this month :)

Chocolate Cake

There is chocolate cake in my house...

I even helped bake it...

This is where I would normally insert my confession of eating said chocolate cake...

BUT NOT TODAY!!!

I did not have a single piece, lick, taste, anything!

I am beyond proud of myself today :)

PMS = Gimme some carbs!

I am closing in on 3 whole days on the Atkins Induction phase. The last 2 days were super easy. Today? Not so much. I'm crampy and cranky and I want some damn carbs! Even things that don't normally appeal to me are screaming "Eat me!"

But I will prevail!

The scale has already bumped down 2.2 lbs also! Which rocks.

You know what else rocks? I haven't had a soda in 3 days!! And I don't even crave them! WOOOOOT!

Can't wait to see the scale keep travelling downward!

Coming Out

I have decided, in my quest to be brutally honest with myself, to be brutally honest with you too.

I have never put my weight out into the interent realm... even doing weight loss challenges on bulletin boards online. I was just too embarrassed.

But today I am changing that.

As of this morning I weight 201.4 lbs.

I have been lower in the last couple years but gained the weight back.

I am so sick of hovering around 200 lbs. I am done! I am ready to explore other areas... 190's, 180's, 170's, 160's, and eventually the 150-140 range, maybe even the upper 130's, who knows.

I have a lot of muscle mass so the upper 130 range is pushing it for me, but who knows where I will end up happy. I think 140 is my main goal though.

That gives me approximately 60 lbs to lose. And damnit, I'm going to do it!

My first goal is to get down to 160lbs before getting pregnant again sometime in the nearish future.

I am ready to do this and I can't fail. I canNOT let myself down again. I just can't.

It's a Brand New Year...

Yikes... So first let me say, we are moved and started in our new life. Things are finally calming down. Unfortunately I have not only NOT lost weight lately, I guaruntee I gained weight! I can feel it.

On top of that I just flipped through the holiday pictures my mom took and put online.... and I am horrified. Things need to change RIGHT NOW!

This is a year for truly new beginnings right off the bat.

-DH is in a new career
-We are in a new town
-I am a SAHM again

So... let's add "Lose some serious weight" on there shall we?

I am starting the 2 week beginning phase of Atkins shortly and I am super excited and ready to do so. DH is even going to do it with me. There is also a gym membership in my very near future (within the next week or so).

I am SO over looking at picture of myself and wanting to cry, I am so over not feeling good in my skin or my clothes, I am so over feeling huge and cumbersome. This is it. This is my year. No excuses.

Still workin' it!!

I started the new change last Sunday and I am getting very close to completing a full week! I had a 50/50 day on Monday but other than that I have been reeeeeeeally good! The only indulgence I have allowed myself is my sugar free coffee drink. I must admit though that I will be taking Mostest to the Nutcracker this weekend and there is faire... and there are the most heavenly cupcakes that will be there... And I'm SO having one! :)

I always approach these changes as just that, "life style changes." I want something that I can sustain, not just some get-skinny-quick scheme. Am I really going to go the entire rest of my life without a treat? Uh, NO! But 1 treat in a week... sounds like a good change to me!

I have not gotten any exercise in this week... which I feel guilty about. But there are some big things going on in my life right now so I'm trying not to beat myself up too bad. I have also not been on the scale so I don't know if I am losing or not. To be quite honest, I avoid the scale because it usually brings bad news :( Hopefully that will be changing along with my new change... however I'm not prepared to see any bad news on the scale right now. I am doing so well with my eating that I don't want to get discouraged and back-slide.

I'm still feeling great though! And I have turned down MULTIPLE sweet things that people have offered me in the last several days!! Woot!

I'm doing it!!!

I'm sticking with this very well so far! I ate the food that I packed yesterday and then ended up at my parents' house for dinner and had teryaki halibut and salad :)

Today I had:
Breakfast: Turkey bell pepper rolls and a string cheese
Snack: Celery and PB
Lunch: Spinach and lettuce salad, zuchinni slices and spinach dip, salami and cheese
Dinner: Steak and steamed brussel sprouts with parmesan cheese and salad

I'm feeling really good physically and I am not dying of sugar cravings like I thought I would be! I am very pleasantly surprised so far. :)